What happens when things go crazy in your relationship? Suddenly, probably not out of nowhere, you two are considering separating. WOW!
That was never in the plan. Neither of you is happy and you are not communicating well. What should you do to fix the problem?
First thing is to recognize that there is a problem and it has been brewing for some time. If you have been following me for a while you know that I preach paying attention. So if its gotten this far, you haven’t been paying attention or you have been delaying dealing with reality.
A couple of principles that apply
1. Vulnerable communication is key.
2. Recognize that you only can love someone as much as you love yourself.
3. Be loving and present. Look into each other’s eyes and recover your connection.
4. Gratitude and Forgiveness are essential
5. Keep things fresh and creative in bed.
6. Acknowledge your love for each other.
7. Remember you are a team and you have each other’s back no matter what.
8. Sex is a barometer for how your relationship is working.
Crises occur when you feel cornered. Things are not going well and you feel like life is bypassing you. You have a choice. You can blame your spouse and target all the little things that are not perfect about your spouse. Alternatively, you can bond together and tackle it as a challenge to your relationship.
The easy inauthentic way is to blame. If you want to choose integrity and accountability, you took vows when you married and at least you must attempt to choose the high road. How do you do that when you are hurt, humiliated, angry and stubborn? GET OVER IT!
Step outside of the feelings and look at what you can do to clean up this relationship. There are plenty of strategies that work and having a coach will help keep you on track in the process. Don’t give up on your relationship without a fight. Get help.