When we started this process, I was curious to explore the idea of getting what I want. I had in mind that what I wanted was a man that satisfied my needs and desires. I didn't get a man rather I got many new relationships and existing ones have improved and become much more satisfying and exciting. I didn't get the guy, but learned a lot about men. They are not as mysterious and scary as they were before. I sense an equality in that domain that was lacking before. I have a fondness for the opposite sex, which was lacking before.
The coaching was called Getting What You Want, but I got more than what I wanted. I have been given things that I could not have imagined with my limited view at the time. If I had got what I wanted, I would have sold myself short. Instead of a boyfriend, I got more friends and acquaintances that share similar interests and values - my phone rings more, I write and receive more personal emails and text messages. I don't go to the cinema alone as often anymore. I go cycling with fun-loving companions more often (instead of alone), and I have hiked many hills and mountains also in companionship - instead of walking for hours alone.
Instead of a man to love and to love me, all my relationships have become more loving, from my neighbors to friends and most of all with my teenage children. There's more laughter, more love, and more mutual understanding. The practice of acknowledgement and appreciation is transforming. I do more service, which is also satisfying and inspiring. New difficulties have come along with the expansion of interaction with others. It is not all peace and love. Sometimes I let people down because I am late or forget about an appt and I have to sort those situations out. Sometimes I get so busy, forget to exhale. Other times, I get impatient or irritated, but I figure this is all part of the package and I can develop and grow through these difficulties.
I am excited about my work and the potential to develop that aspect of life (there is still some thinking and action to take there but it is looking good) and last but not least I am more content with myself. That vague notion of not being able take care of myself and being dis-satisfied with life has slipped away. I have a sense of adventure for the first time since I was in my teens and early twenties. The main reason for that is I feel that my dreams are attainable again. I understand better the things that turn me on and have been able to not only understand them but also realize them. There is a confidence that if I articulate goals and values, they are achievable in ways I cannot imagine at the time.
Susan Sheppard is magical. She started coaching me when I was 55. I was the Poster Child for " The Romance Re-entry Program for those out of Practice". I was a Widow who worked the night shift 7 nights a week and hadn't dated in 34 yrs. In one year I became the woman who accepted a proposal of marriage under the Eiffel Tower at the Millennium. Today I am a very happily married, romantic, world-traveling retiree. If you work with Susan, she'll change your life definitely for the better. C.B.Redondo Beach, CA
Most important thing to know about you is, I like you and think that “you” are your biggest asset/contribution, it is what people want and of course content too. Stay the confident lady you are and come from a place of no apology, just secure confidence of yourself, your place in the universe and your true bank of knowledge from which you draw and generously share with others. J.S. Livermore, CA
Susan, I felt all your advice in this book was right-on and the Truth! I agreed with all of it. I think you have actually found an answer to relationship problems.
Bitch by my definition means that she knows what she wants and asks for it in a way that any man, woman, or child can understand what she is requesting and always expects to receive it if not from the man in front of her then from someone else.
What a wonderful definition, something for every woman to try to live up to!
You presented it as a counselor/best friend might. The tone of the book was very good – warm and engaging. It was obvious that you are sincere and truly want to help people. P.S. , iUniverse editor
She was a widow at age 55 after a 30 year marriage with an emotionally abusive selfish man. She said she wanted to get married again
but this time to someone who would take care of her.
Her results from working with me include: <See More>
- She stopped working 7 – 12 hour night shifts / week in the hospital and started working 10 days/ month as a critical care transport nurse.
- She cleaned up her finances and was able to buy a house.
- She stepped out of her comfort zone and answered personal ads to meet men. (this was 1999 so no internet!)
- We had great fun going to glamour shots and having photos done.
- She got clarity about what she actually wanted to have in her life
- She learned that women do the choosing and how to choose
- She learned to heal from her past bad experiences.
- She learned how to meet men without the drama that usually goes with dating.
- She learned how to talk to men and put their attention on them.
- She got a wonderful relationship and marriage.(over 13 years now)
- He took her to Paris and proposed at the Eiffel Tower at midnight 2000.
- Her self- esteem skyrocketed
- She learned how to ask for what they want without being embarrassed about asking.
- She got to have good sex finally and learned how to talk about sex comfortably.
- She learned not to be embarrassed about asking for what satisfies her.
- She chose to love a great guy who turned out to be very financially wealthy and he fell head over heels in love with her.
The other transformations that happened in her life are:
- She has a completely new life now.
- They live at the beach in a 3000 sq ft home with an ocean view that they built
- They have rental properties.
- They travel the world to attend plays, concerts, art exhibits and just to visit exotic places.
- She acquired financial stability, a new house, a place to live, a life.
- They both learned how to survive crisis in a relationship ( she survived cancer, he survived forced early retirement)
- She learned a strategy that works for loving relationships
- She learned not to settle for less than what she wanted from a man and a relationship
- She learned when and how to call it quits with a man
- She learned the essential ingredients of a successful relationship:
- Love with Respect
- She learned how to love herself and appreciate what she has to offer a relationship
- She learned the meaning of true intimacy.
- She learned how to have clean relationships, to be honest , to be vulnerable, to be strong, powerful, and a very attractive woman.
- She learned how to apply makeup , buy clothes including sexy lingerie, and she lost 50 lbs.
The cost to her of not accepting my offer to help her find a man and get married within a year:
- She would still be working nights full time.
- She would be living in a rented home .
- She would still be alone and unmarried.
- She would not be really financially stable.
- She would still be wearing ugly underwear.